3 Activities That Will Boost Your Self-awareness

When I went to school emotional intelligence (EQ) wasn’t taught. I don’t think that’s changed for the majority of students today.

And for leaders — this is a critical skill to help you be successful.

According to Emotional Intelligence 2.0, EQ can be broken down into 4 categories:

• Self-awareness
• Self-management
• Social awareness
• Relationship management

This text was a favorite of leaders I coach in the mastermind

The book is amazing for 2 main reasons:

1. It offers an assessment to see where you are strong and where you need to grow your EQ
2. It gives very practical tools that will help you improve your EQ

In this short post, I want to share 3 activities from the book that will help boost your self-awareness and self-management. The activities shared here are the exact activities I have been practicing to boost my EQ.

When I took the assessment this I scored poorly on internal awareness. My self-awareness score was 69 and my self-management score was a 67.

What is self-awareness?

Self-awareness is the same as knowing yourself.

If you have ever wondered, “Why the hell did I do that?” or “Who was that just now? That wasn’t me!” then you have experienced the negative effects of having low self-awareness.

“When you don’t take time out to notice and understand your emotions, they have a strange way of resurfacing when you least expect or want them to.” -Bradberry & Greaves

What is self-management?

When you have strong self-management you notice your emotions and then actively choose what to say and do.

This is reminds me of Stoic philosophy: Control your perceptions. Direct your actions properly. Willingly accept what is in (and out) of your control.

“When you don’t stop to think about your feelings — including how they are influencing your behavior now, and will continue to do so in the future — you set yourself up to be a frequent victim of emotional hijackings.” -Bradberry & Greaves

Internal awareness boosting activities

Journaling

According to the text, “The biggest challenge to developing self-awareness is objectivity.”

I can attest to that.
It reminds me of driving in traffic (see video below)

I journal every morning and I’m going to add a quick evening check-in to my routine in 2020.

2 questions I have found useful as an end-of-day review:

• What could I have done differently today to make it better?
• To what extent, did I live in accordance with my personal philosophy?

Bradberry & Greaves suggest that leaders should journal about their emotions. What events triggered strong positive or negative emotions.

Over time you will begin to notice patterns that will then help you make a plan to be better. Consistent journaling will also raise your awareness of emotions because you know you will be writing about them at some point in the day. Who knows — you might even make an “avoid at all costs” list when you notice certain people or events trigger you the most.

Add margin to problem solve

I like to make plans on how to achieve goals. I’m actually quite good at it (see this post on OKRs).

But rarely do I plan on how I will move around obstacles.

Not anymore. I added a 15-30 minute block ever day so I can just think about challenges and problem solve.

I’m learning to slow down and the power of adding margin to my ideal week.

If you’re like me, I used to run from meeting to meeting without breaks in between. This doesn’t help me “show up at my best.”

So not only do I not want to hurry between meetings, I also want to avoid hurrying between decisions.

By adding time to problem solve I am adding clear thinking and planning to my calendar. This is a huge win not just for me, but also for my organization.

Breathe

When was the last time you took a nice, deep, and full breath.

Do it now if you notice it’s been awhile. Go ahead. Inhale for 3-5 seconds. Do the same when you exhale. Your stomach should extend during a satisfying breath.

Most of us go through the day taking short, shallow breaths. Your body needs oxygen to operate. Your brain demands 20% of the oxygen you breathe.

I guarantee that you will feel the benefits of a full breath immediately. This might just be the simplest leadership and EQ tip I can share. Take a deep breath.

The best way to remain calm and to refocus in every moment is by breathing deeply. What’s great about this strategy is that it available to all and an on-demand basis.

You can alleviate (and maybe even) conquer stress, anxiety, and other negative emotions. Breathing deeply is a great way to manage your emotions.

In addition to deep breathing, I will comment that a mindfulness training routine has offered me incredible benefits.

I have seen both my internal awareness and ability to focus improve by meditating nearly every day. For more on mindfulness and a wide-variety of tools every school leader should have check out this post.

Wondering what to read next?

If you enjoyed this post on EQ, then you’ll love this post on “10 tools every school leader should have.“