Why Student Behavior Won’t Change Until the Adults Do

00:03
Speaker 1
So what have discipline numbers been like for you, Sarah? Like what?

00:07
Speaker 2
Oh, my gosh.

00:08
Speaker 1
What happened at Parkade? What happened at Benton? Yeah.

00:11
Speaker 2
Well, I would be willing to bet that on any given day at either school, I would respond to, you know, between 20 and 25 walkie calls a day, kids just escalated. Kids needing help with regulation, kids in their emotional state that weren't able to learn, or kids who were being so disruptive that nobody else could learn. I would be willing to bet that I did between 20 and 25 of those calls a day. You know, by the time I left my previous school, we had it down to about 12 a day or so. And here, where were able to kick off the soil right from the very beginning of the school year, I mean, I don't think I've answered 12 calls in 10 days.

00:52
Speaker 3
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02:15
Speaker 3
When was the last time someone coached you? You develop everyone else in your building, but who's in your corner? Kids First Education is. This episode is brought to you by Kids First Coaching and support built for the people who lead schools. Start at Kids First LLC Leaders. That's Kids First LLC Leaders. There's a framework that built called the Ideal Week. It saves principals about 10 hours a month once they implement the system. Digital. Danny can walk you through your version of the Ideal Week. Tonight, create your ideal week and more at my principal coach.com ruckus that's my principal coach.com rakus. All right. And Jill and Sarah, welcome to the show.

03:14
Speaker 2
Thank you.

03:15
Speaker 1
Thank you so much for inviting us.

03:17
Speaker 2
Yeah. So excited to be here.

03:19
Speaker 3
Yeah, I'm excited too. You know this is going to be A great partnership, great opportunity with conscious discipline. We're excited. Ro, the Elevate conference is coming up October in Orlando. You can definitely. We'll put in the show notes, you know, if you want to register. We'd love to see everybody there that's checking out today's episode. But yeah, we're going to talk a bit about the event. We're talking about, talk a little bit about conscious discipline and you know what that looks like, you know, at a campus level. And I think I'd like to throw it over to Sarah to start off with and I want you to rewind right, go back before the conscious discipline days for you as an educator, as a school leader.

04:02
Speaker 3
And can you talk a bit about just like what was life, what was leadership, what was education like pre conscious discipline?

04:12
Speaker 2
Yeah, that's a great question. So I started my educational life in the early 2000s and you know, before I knew about conscious discipline, I believed things like kids should comply and do what they're told because the adult told them to. You know, I believed that if misbehavior happened, it was because the kid was naughty or, you know, didn't want to do what the adult want that wanted them to do. You know, I was very token driven. You know, if I bribe you with this, then maybe you'll do your work for me. You know, taking away things like recess was a go to for me. And it wasn't until I had was fortunate enough to start working with Jill with conscious discipline that I really changed my, my viewpoint of that. You know, seeing that behavior is a call for help.

05:06
Speaker 2
It's a communication that kids are asking for. You know, they're asking for something, they're telling you they need something. And we, it's our job as the adults to stay regulated and recognize that and do what we can to help the kid get what they need. So it's just a very different way. You know, what can adults do to increase the likelihood that kids will, you know, be safe and follow directions and learn in the classroom. So cool.

05:37
Speaker 3
And thanks Sarah for you know, describing a little bit about life, leadership, education, part conscious discipline. And I heard clearly like that I used to believe this. Now I believe this right type of part of your story. But I'm curious, was there a catalyst? Like how did you find out? Right? Did somebody say, you know, you're punishing too many kids or whatever, you're going to this conference, we've got a problem with you, sir.

06:05
Speaker 2
How did you get involved that's a good question, too. I know that didn't happen. I was fortunate to work with another really great leader named Amy Watkins, who I served as her assistant principal. She was the principal of the building, and we served several years together. And it was through her, like, she knew that there was a different way, a better way to do things than what you could call traditional school leadership and enlisted the help of Jill. We are really lucky that Jill is local. She lives close by and was looking for an opportunity to work in a school with leaders who were looking to do things differently. And so Jill came to Parkade and man, life changing. Quite possibly the biggest event in my school leadership experience because I, I.

06:55
Speaker 2
Everything I've learned on how to do things the way I do them has come from the work that I did with Jill and with Amy. So, yeah, just fortunate to be in the right place at the right time, working with really great people, made that happen for me.

07:09
Speaker 1
And I would add this, Danny, I would add this, I would say a big piece of, you know, there's a million leaders out there who of course, are using that traditional. Of course, because that's the way they were raised. Right. Don't make me pull this car over. I'll give you something to cry about.

07:26
Speaker 3
Right.

07:26
Speaker 1
We were raised with that. And so. So it's just natural that would be our tenants. The difference about Sarah and Amy and I think a lot of leaders out there is they had a willingness. Like they were like, I'm doing it this way. I know it's not getting results. I keep giving them tokens. I'm giving red light, green light, yellow light. I've done all of these external systems to try and change an internal issue. I know it's not changing, but I don't know what the heck else to do. And so Sarah and Amy were so open to the neuroscience piece that conscious discipline brings to the table. And I think that they didn't have to have a reason why to change. They were just such learners that they were like, what? You're talking about the brain? So this kid isn't doing it on purpose.

08:16
Speaker 1
How is it that they're not doing it on purpose? And I think that is a big piece of why Sarah and Amy were such easy folks for me to partner with. And so I volunteered there for. I went around the country and I taught conscious discipline to folks all around the country. But Sarah and Amy were so willing to let me try out new things. So I would pilot things with parents there or with the first grade team or with the kinder team. And the other piece that Sarah didn't share is she's had a wealth of experiences of children. So she's worked in a title school. She's worked in a school that's a title school that has significant trauma and significant hurt. And she's now in a school with children that have a lot of opportunities financially but still have internal hurt.

09:11
Speaker 1
And the interesting thing is, in the world today, what the leaders sometimes even in. In your own community believe is, well, we should use it with these children because they show up and you can see on the outside that they're hurting because they may not have had a shower, their. Their lights got turned off. So there are a lot of external things that you think, wow, we need to give them a little bit more empathy. But so often children that come from homes where it appears that they have everything, they drive up in a fancy car, they have a brilliant backpack and a big bow on, we don't think that they have the same herd inside. And that's where Sarah is a game changer for her district. Her district has been willing to use conscious discipline with the title schools.

09:58
Speaker 1
And Sarah is really kind of the game changer, saying, this isn't just for children that have those kinds of issues in their past. This is for everybody. And we have. School's only been in session for Sarah for five days, 10 days, something like that. And she's at a brand spanking new building. But the teachers, oh my gosh, Danny, they are like, this is unbelievable. We never thought it would work here with these kids.

10:32
Speaker 2
Yeah. I had this amazing opportunity to, you know, pick my staff to hire a brand new staff. And I hired people from 19 different places, and I hired from title schools, non title schools. And we started last February working with conscious discipline and really doing the. The internal work that conscious discipline asks you to do. It asks you to think about how you were raised and how the things that come out of your mouth when you talk to kids and adults are the same things that were said to you when you were a kid. And so we've done so much work with, you know, the brain and understanding, you know, checking your brain states. And as adults, we need to check our brain states when we're, you know, getting ready to do something hard or something like that.

11:17
Speaker 2
And so we spent months really cultivating. Jill calls it the soil of our building. And so now we have this staff. I met with them yesterday during our PLC work. And we have this staff who just talk about what an amazing place this place is to work. And the deal is, yeah, I mean, we're teaching new kids to us, but kids are kids, and kids all come with really hard things. But when. When you work in a place where you believe the things that we believe about ourselves and about how conscious discipline has taught us that, how to regulate and to, you know, use each other for help when we need it, that it doesn't seem as challenging as it could be. Opening a brand new building. We're all in. We're all supporting each other. We're vulnerable in front of each other.

12:08
Speaker 2
We cry in front of each other when things are hard. And it's because we built this soil that conscious discipline talks about in order to make this a really great place to be, a really great place to work.

12:22
Speaker 3
Love that. Cool. Thank you, Sarah. You know, I want to pass the mic back to Jill. I'm curious if you remember stepping on campus with Sarah back in the day? Right. So it's still sort of pre conscious discipline for her. And you said you were going around volunteering, you know, working with some schools, teaching the methodology. But yeah, what's it like when Joe Moley comes on campus?

12:44
Speaker 1
So the exciting thing for me. So I think maybe the first time. Sarah, were you still a teacher when I first came or were you already ap?

12:53
Speaker 2
I was ap, but I was new. Like, I was like a first or second year ap. I did not know what I was doing.

13:01
Speaker 1
I think, again, the piece that is like, I've been doing this for 25 years, teaching conscious discipline to teachers and to folks around the world. And there's something I can spot about a person when even if they have a hard outer core of control and making sure things are just so. And I can see kind of some beauty inside, like, oh, my gosh, they want to let that traditional stuff go and they really want to allow this to shine. And that is 100% what I saw with Sarah. And I'll tell you, the easiest way to see it is when Sarah would be connected with a child who was struggling. One of the big tells that we talk about in conscious discipline is in the old traditional style.

13:55
Speaker 1
You, your eyebrows go down, your shoulders come up, and as you're having a conversation, you're like, really getting your point across. And what Sarah would do is just the opposite. Her face would soften, her shoulders come down. She would be down at the eye level of that child. And I was like, oh, man, she wants to do this with kids and teachers. And I think the big thing that we're really going to talk a lot about at Elevate. Danny. Also, one of the qualities that Sarah possesses so clearly is sometimes, in my experience of doing this over the last 25 years, principals find it pretty easy. Once they hear a little bit of it, man, they can do this with kids.

14:39
Speaker 1
And Sarah was that, like, once she heard me talk a little bit, she could turn that and flip that and do that with kids really easily. But the other piece that Sarah has that many don't have yet, and I think this is what we're really trying to teach at Elevate is Sarah also has that same kind of soft vulnerability and empathy with adults. So often principals are like, you're grown, you should know better. Don't be talking like that to the kids in my hall. I'm not going to walk down that hallway because that teacher's always yelling, I'm not going to walk down that hallway because that. And the principal sometimes avoids hard conversations with teachers who are being unkind to kids and saying, well, I mean, she gets good test scores, so I'm just going to let her be well or, well, like.

15:28
Speaker 1
And so a lot of times that is what we run into is principals love and grab a hold of conscious discipline, and it's pretty easy for them to start doing it with kids. The hardest part and the piece that Sarah has really dug into is she actually is able to also do this with adults and even bigger with parents. She and Amy were like the best with parents. They could de escalate. Parents who wanted to get everybody all fired up and get Gary all fired up and come, you know, and they're yelling. And I mean, within seconds, Amy and Sarah would have been whispering back to them, having, thanking them, you know, hugging them instead of calling somebody and telling the superintendent and, you know, ratcheting things up the chain.

16:22
Speaker 1
And so I think that's kind of one of the special gifts is it is really important to do this with children. And that was always a gift that Sarah had very quickly after she learned conscious discipline. But I think the other piece that so many people haven't made the leap to is, how do I do this with adults? And I'll say even Sarah probably might not me say this, but I'll say that she also is quite skilled at doing this even with her own superiors. So. So I think that one of the things that Sarah does so beautifully is that she's able to do this not just with her teachers on her campus, but she also offers that same soft. And I don't mean soft like she let man, kids know the rules at her school.

17:11
Speaker 1
Teachers have, she is incredible, incredibly high expectations, but it just doesn't come in a fear based way. And I think that when decisions get made, sometimes at districts, sometimes they're hard to swallow. And I think that's one of the other gifts that Sarah has is this ability to reframe and figure out so this is what we will do. Doesn't mean this is what I want to do. Doesn't mean this is what I like. Doesn't mean. But this is what we are being asked to do and here's how we can, and here's the information that I'll share back so that you know, there's a two way communication going. So I, I think it impacts, you know, conversations with adults on so many levels.

17:49
Speaker 2
I think one of the reasons why I'm excited about Elevate is that you get to be surrounded by people who all are, see, have a, A, a passion or a calling or. Jill calls it a willingness, right, to learn to do things better with this kind of, with this conscious discipline lens and you know, aren't around a lot of people who believe and do things the way that Jill and I do. It can get hard. Like when you believe in doing things a certain way but you aren't surrounded by people who also believe that same thing.

18:21
Speaker 2
It can, it's hard just like anything else, you know, and so the elevate's going to be great because all everybody's going to have the same willingness that you have when you go and you're going to be surrounded by all of these empathetic, you know, positive learners who just want to grow in this area. And, and I love what you said Jill, about the adults because it is so much about adults. You know, kids are kids and they have, you know, so much to learn. But we as adults, it's our responsibility to help them learn it. And so, you know, I came from, you know, I was a principal to school for seven years where you know, we changed the culture. And the only way were able to do that is by changing ourselves.

19:07
Speaker 2
Like we changed how we believed about how to talk to kids. We changed what we believed about what kids need and what they deserve. You know, nobody wants anybody to talk down to their baby like no mom wants that, right? And so we just kind of kept that as our mantra. And then what you find is you find staff members who work really hard with, really with kids who come from trauma. We were 100% free and reduced lunch and those teachers Never said no to me. They never left. I had zero teacher turnover in a very complicated building because we just woke up every day and took care of each other. And conscious discipline helped us do that, you know, because we changed who were on the inside and so it made the outside stuff not quite so hard.

19:57
Speaker 2
And so it's just, you know, and when I did that at this school that I was at, now I want to do that. I want to do that everywhere. I want to do that with the staff I'm building. Now I want to do that with my boss and with the district cabinet. Like, I just, because I just believe so much. That's how you change the world in education. I really believe that. And so one of the reasons why I'm excited about Elevate is because you'll be surrounded by people who have that same, that feel that same way. And man, it's, it's inspiring and it's, you know, you, I call it on fire. You like, you just catch on fire and you just want to change the world. And so, yeah, that's, I love that.

20:34
Speaker 1
It's kind of like this, Danny. You know, if you're trying to lose weight and you join Weight Watchers, it's so much easier than just like chugging away. It's like elevates like Weight Watchers. You know, you're just around a whole bunch of people who want to think differently, talk differently to kids and you know, all kinds of stuff. So it is, I love that. Sarah, you're 100% right. It is fun to be around others who are like minded.

20:55
Speaker 2
It's hard work. Right. Because conscious discipline asks you to do internal work. Like it asks you to work on yourself so that then you can, you know, do things differently with kids. And so, you know, I always leave a conscious discipline conference. Yes. I'm, you know, I'm excited and I feel like, you know, I'm going to go change the world, but I'm also exhausted because you've done all of this learning and this internal work on yourself, but it's the right exhaustion and it's doing the right work.

21:23
Speaker 3
Yeah, right on that community piece. I mean, I could be tough with Ruckus Makers at time and pretty pointed. And you know, this is, I want to be clear, this is my view, right? From better leaders, better schools. But I, I'll tell Ruckus Makers if you're trying to lead alone, you know, this is a stupid approach. It really is right There's a community out there. And you know, maybe it's working with me. Maybe it's working with conscious discipline. There's, there's spaces, there's people. You don't have to be alone. So going to an event like elevate and being around like minded folks is inspiring. You know, I like to say you can't pour from an empty cup and just to be there, right? To recharge, to get inspired, to get challenged, to better for your people.

22:06
Speaker 3
You know, over my shoulder there, it says, when you get better, everybody wins, right? So that's the thing, you know, and you'll come back to campus with a different kind of fire. You know, I was telling you pre chat before we hit record, I was just at a two and a half day improv camp, right, for performers that take the craft seriously. And this past Wednesday I had practice. And when I showed up, the director was like, oh, you're bringing something different, Danny. Like, I can tell something's changed, something's clicked in you. And it was true. And it was because I was surrounded. I had immersed myself in an environment that said people like us do things like this, right? And I brought that back to my theater and it was a lovely type of thing.

22:48
Speaker 3
So I want, we're going to hit the conference in a second. I know we've been teasing it out a little bit and just so that, you know, the listener or viewer, the ruckus maker, engaging with us. You could go to ElevateTeacherConference.com to learn more and sign yourself up, sign the team up. But I want to come to the after part of your story, Sarah. I heard things like, no turnover. That's a pretty cool result, right, that you've experienced. But how else has sort of life and leadership and education changed for you? And then we'll talk more about the conference. But yeah, let's hear your story.

23:24
Speaker 2
You know, we are in 2026 now, but we still talk about COVID right? And we are still educating kids who survived, you know, probably one of the hardest things that's ever happened in public education. And we are, we're still recovering from that and noticing that when connection rules, how you run a school and then not being able to connect, you know, we've had to be really creative. We had to be really creative back then. And really then what it did is it just made us all stronger. When all was said and done, you know, we got more creative with how we, you know, got you Know, one of the things we do in schools is we give kids jobs so that they feel that they're of service.

24:07
Speaker 2
Because we know when we contribute, you know, we feel better about ourselves and we feel better about our community. Like, we just had to get more creative with those things. And so I think that, you know, the. The learning I had done with conscious discipline beforehand, Covid helped me, you know, help strengthen those skills. And so now, you know, we can. If we can do it during COVID we can do it during any time.

24:30
Speaker 3
Right.

24:30
Speaker 2
Like, you know, one of the things we do is I love you rituals where you're supposed to, like, really be, you know, it's. It's play, and there includes eye contact and touch in a playful manner. Like, you do all of that. Well, how do you do that when you can't. When you can't be close to somebody? So we found really creative ways to do that. And so, you know, just like any other challenge, you know, we get better when we do those things. And I think that's just one example of how, you know, I've become a stronger leader. My people, when they learn about conscious discipline, they make me better. You know, there are some people that I interviewed who just. They didn't know about conscious discipline, but they kind of had that.

25:06
Speaker 2
That feel like you can kind of pick them out, you know. And after were done interviewing her, I said to my assistant principal, she's going to make me better. She is going to make me a better leader. And that's who I wanted to surround myself with. And so being able to pick up those qualities that somebody who believes like we do have has made my team stronger and has made our school stronger.

25:30
Speaker 1
So what have discipline numbers been like for you, Sarah?

25:33
Speaker 2
Like what? Oh, my gosh.

25:35
Speaker 1
What happened at Parkade? What happened at Benton? Yeah.

25:38
Speaker 2
Well, I would be willing to bet that on any given day at either school, I would respond to, you know, between 20 and 25 walkie calls a day, kids just escalated. Kids needing help with regulation, kids in their emotional state that weren't able to learn, or kids who were being so disruptive that nobody else could learn. I would be willing to bet that I did between 20 and 25 of those calls a day. You know, by the time I left my previous school, we had it down to about 12 a day or so. And here, where were able to kick off the soil right from the very beginning of the school year, I mean, I don't think I've answered 12 calls in 10 days. And so you Know, it's kids here.

26:20
Speaker 2
We started right off the bat, we're teaching the brain to kids right off the bat. We're teaching kids about regulation and safety and here at school. And we see kids doing it. We see kids just taking a deep breath. And we saw kids, you know, restoring hard feelings with each other on the third day of school because were teaching them how to do that right off the bat. And so when you do that, kids stay in the classroom, they're learning more, community is tighter because everybody's in it together. And it's just. Yeah, it's been amazing. It's been an amazing thing to the transformation.

26:55
Speaker 1
What happened to your scores, your academic scores, as a result?

26:59
Speaker 2
When I was at my previous school, when I became the principal there, were in the lowest 10% of the state. We were on a list, you know, the. The dreaded. The dreaded list that they put you on in every state. By the time I left, were receiving awards for being. For performing in the top 10% of all title buildings in the state. And so went from the lowest 10 to the highest 10 within five years. And so that was the same kids.

27:25
Speaker 1
No redistricting. No redistricting with the same kids. Like, again, like what you said, I think it's. That's just the power. The thing I think is so funny, Danny, is people come to us all the time, and here's what they say to conscious discipline. Like, oh, my gosh, my scores. My scores went up 20% in math. They went up 35% in, you know, reading. And we're like, we don't teach people how to teach reading. We don't teach math. So there. But they want to tell us about their academic success because they say, I'm not policing kids anymore. Kids aren't being kicked out anymore. Like, kids are inside classrooms. Our suspensions went down 50%.

28:03
Speaker 1
Well, if a child is in a classroom, feels like they belong, then of course they're going to hear more content and they're going to be able to perform more on their tests. And so I just, I. I always think, you know, it's an interesting. It seems like an interesting leap. Like, it makes sense that we would say our referrals go down, but what so often people want to say is, we didn't change anything academically in the.

28:26
Speaker 3
Classroom, except scores still went on.

28:29
Speaker 1
Those scores, you know, just went up like crazy.

28:32
Speaker 3
Oh, you created the conditions, right? The conditions so that teaching and learning can happen. And that's what it's all about. I often tell School leaders that, you know, your staff wants the answer to two questions. And if you answer these two questions, they're going to stick around, you're going to retain them. But the same questions, I think, apply to students, too. And to me, those two questions are, you know, do I belong here? Number one and two, like, am I doing a good job? Right. And if people feel like they're. They belong and they're competent, yeah, they're going to want to stick around. And that in the overall point of view, that to me, in my world, is what I call creating a campus experience worth showing up for.

29:15
Speaker 3
Because you can't take for granted, like, oh, you're supposed to come to school, or like Sarah was talking about earlier with staff, you know, they're adults, they should know better. You can't say, well, they're earning a check, right? So they need to come like, are you creating a space that people want to be a part of and contribute to? Right. Because they're seen and they feel successful. And if you can do that, magic happens. And you don't have to teach the magic. The magic happens because of the condition.

29:43
Speaker 2
For kids, and you do that for adults. When adults don't leave and you retain teachers, that's another thing that impacts scores. Right. I wasn't having to hire first year teachers that just have so many skills to build over and over again because my teachers didn't leave me. They didn't go anywhere because they believed in the work were doing and they felt good doing it. And so then, you know, they stuck around and that helped with our scores, too. So.

30:12
Speaker 3
Right on.

30:12
Speaker 2
And it's all about. You're right. It's all about belonging, Dani. It's all about that.

30:17
Speaker 3
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31:16
Speaker 3
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32:12
Speaker 3
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33:19
Speaker 3
Check it out for [email protected] leaders that's ixl.com leaders here's something we don't say enough. The person that's holding a school or district together is often the one that gets the least amount of support. Principals, assistant principals, district leaders. You're coaching everybody else. Kids First Education is built to support you, and the results speak for themselves. 99% Of educators found their Kids first coach knowledgeable. Nearly all said the sessions they led connected to the district's priorities. And 98% of participants walked out ready to use what they learned that week. That's what happens when professional learning is designed around your context, not pulled off a shelf. Partner with Kids first and learn more at Kids First LLC Leaders. That's Kids First LLC Leaders. One of my favorite moments in coaching is when a principal realizes they don't have a problem.

34:32
Speaker 3
They just have a problem someone else has already solved. Meaning there's an automatic school tool that I've built for it. They just didn't know which one to grab. Reactive Calendar Then use the Ideal Week new principle Trying to figure out the first 90 days but then you go to the entry plan bottleneck happening in your own office. That's a lead domino conversation. I've built 36 tools across the automatic school framework. Most leaders don't need more strategy. They need the right tool applied in their exact situation. Tonight, Digital Danny does the diagnosis. He knows every tool I've ever built, when to use it, and how to walk you through it for your campus. You get started with Digital Danny at myprincipalcoach.com/ruckus. That's my principalcoach.com ruckus. So, Jill, I'm going to pass the mic to you. Let's, let's dig a little bit into the conference.

35:41
Speaker 3
I know we've hit, we've hit at it, you know, and again, ElevateTeacherConference.com that's where you can sign yourself up, sign the team up. Come see us. Come see Sarah and Jill and me. We'd love to hang out with you, but you were telling me earlier that Sarah was actually kind of modeling a framework that now conscious discipline has adopted and is going to be teaching, especially at Elevate, and it's called the safe Framework. I know I'm a big part of that. Ask the sustained leadership piece. I'm quite excited to talk about that, but can you. Yeah. Can you break down the framework, talk a little bit about the event?

36:17
Speaker 1
Yeah, absolutely. So it's new for us. We started 30 years ago. Our company started 30 years ago, and were super focused on teachers, just really focused on teachers. And went to teacher conferences and every single one of us trainers, all the trainers, were all teachers. And so we just were teachers talking to teachers. And it was spreading just kind of word of mouth. So weren't a big machine company. We weren't. We didn't have big giant backers. We had a beautiful founder, Dr. Becky Bailey, and were just all teachers. And through the years, teachers then pulled together in kind of groups and said, man, we should do this at our whole school. I think we should do this at our campus.

36:58
Speaker 1
And one of the things that just happened, started happening is folks like Sarah and Amy were like, you know, this isn't just for kids. Like, I'm gonna use this lens from a principal perspective. So folks like Sarah and Amy said, you know, I'm going to set up my faculty meeting with a Brain Smart start. We know we do brainsmart start with kids, but I'm going to do my faculty meeting with a brainsmart start. And you know what, we can have jobs. You know, our faculty lounge. Like, people leave stuff in the sink and, you know, different kinds of things. There are different ways that we could have jobs. And so they started looking at the school campus through this conscious discipline lens. Well, so a couple of years ago, the company sold, and we've brought on some new folks.

37:44
Speaker 1
And one of the things that they talked about as they brought down a product developer is he was like, so what's the. Like, what's the magic, Jill? Like, why is it that Sarah's school changes and we didn't really have it in a concrete way? I was like, she's just really good at it. Like, she tries real hard. She sticks with it. She stays with it. We keep. She and I keep trying. And so I started telling him stories about principals like Sarah. And there were like four or five principals that I've worked with. I live in Missouri, and a lot of them are in Missouri, so I could go there on a regular basis. And as I told him kind of my story of success with Sarah, he said, oh, so the S is, this is about sustained leadership. Sarah started here.

38:32
Speaker 1
And she didn't say, oh, this is an initiative. And so we're going to do that. This is how we live in. In our school is really kind of what Sarah said. And the A is. And man, like, when Sarah said, when we started hiring folks for her school, she invited me to be part of the process.

38:51
Speaker 3
Oh, cool.

38:51
Speaker 1
And in her world, the A is everybody. So she, her secretary understands conscious discipline and came to the trainings in February. Her like, so it isn't, oh, the classroom teachers are the adults. No, it's every adult that's in every para that's in that building, every custodian. And so adult first regulation. We aren't about how to trick kids into being good. We're about how to model, how to do it ourselves. And so when things get really hard, what do you do? Because that's what kids are going to do when things get really hard on the playground. They're going to do what they see you doing, you know, when things get really hard in the classroom. So the asset, sustained leadership. The A is adult regulation. And then we just really believe you can't do this alone. So the F is fostering a community.

39:40
Speaker 1
And so we just really know that we live. Your brain is a social brain. So it's not smart because you read a lot of books. It's smart because you are around brilliant people who help you feel safe and connected. And you learn in Those safe environments. And so fostering a community is enormous, which is what Sarah talked about that she and Amy did and that she did at Benton was we create a different culture. Like, when you walk into a conscious discipline school, you're like, wow, it feels different. Like, just when you walk in, like, everything feels different. The secretaries feel. The cafeteria folks feel different. It just feels different everywhere. And one of the.

40:21
Speaker 1
The gals last this week, I was at Sarah's school two days ago, and one of the new teachers said, when were saying, you know, how is it the same that you thought it would be and how is it different? And she said, I knew that Sarah had this vision for how to treat children. I just never believed it would feel so good also to be an adult in her environment. And, like, that's just. That's just powerful. Like, you just build this community. And then the E is where we started. So 30 years ago, we started by helping teachers, and the E stands for an engaged classroom. And so our classrooms look a little bit different. We really teach kids a lot of skills to help each other so they recognize when somebody is upset and they reach out to them. They wish them well.

41:14
Speaker 1
When someone is absent, if somebody has to leave because of a behavior incident, kids don't go home. Oh. And they don't get in the car and go, oh, guess what? Guess who had to go to Time Out. They're like, you know, today we took some deep breaths because we knew that John was just having a hard time, and were so glad that somebody came to help him. Like, their perspective is just so. And when you hear a second grader say, well, we should stop. Let's think about him. I mean, like, you're just like, what's happening? That these kids are so kind? So that's kind of the safe. And the whole Elevate conference is going to have sessions.

41:49
Speaker 1
And when you go, you might say, well, you know, Danny, I'm pretty good with my F, but, man, do I need some more stuff with the A. So the sessions are going to be, like, labeled. Like, hey, if you need more adult regulation, go to this session if you need more stuff. And the keynotes are going to be labeled. So, like, when people come to see you, they know, come get inspired. Come here. You know, a new way to look at the world. And so the whole entire conference is helping those four domains in your site.

42:22
Speaker 3
Beautiful. So sustained leadership, adult self regulation, foster community, engaged classrooms. That's what you're going to get at Elevate. So, again, hope to see folks There. It'll be great to meet you if you check out this episode. Right. And you enjoyed it. And you're at Elevate. Please come say hi. Right. That would be absolutely beautiful. Brilliant. So before I ask my. My last question, did we miss anything that any, you know, a topic you wanted to make sure we covered or a question you might have? Let me just check in with you here.

42:54
Speaker 1
Not for me. I mean, I think we are just so honored, Sarah and I both are, that you were willing to let us. We know that you have an enormous following, and we are just thrilled that you're a willing to come and speak at Elevate Makes a. Is a big deal for us and just that you are willing to let us kind of share. We think that everybody knows about conscious discipline, but here's the truth, Danny. 1% Of schools in the country. 1. 1%. You talk to a lot more people than we do. 1% Of the people in the country know about us in K12 schools. Early childhood knows about us. Maybe 5%, but we're pretty young. I mean, we've been around for 30 years. People before used to think were crazy because were talking about dopamine and serotonin 25 years ago when nobody.

43:49
Speaker 3
Before. It was cool.

43:50
Speaker 1
Yeah, it was not cool. We were talking about noticing, and people were like, don't do witchcraft with us. Like, sit down. You know, I mean, so. So we've been on this long trail for a minute. Consciousness wasn't a cool thing when we started talking about it, but it is now. And so we're just. We're just excited to. To be able to talk with you and maybe expose some more people to the magic.

44:14
Speaker 3
Yeah. And the way. I'll reframe that, too. I mean, because I. I think about that quite a lot too. Listen, I'm very humbled and blessed that the podcast has had a big impact. Most downloaded millions of downloads. You know, that's certainly changed my life, opened many doors that I didn't think. I mean, there's no way I could envision that. This is what I do. Right. This is what I get to do. This is me. It's crazy. And with that being said, in the reach of the show, and then there's like, obviously we work very specifically with school leaders. That's a very tiny. It's a small group. Right. Really, it truly is.

44:47
Speaker 3
And I, you know, I can make some guesses about why it doesn't matter, you know, and especially when I'm feeling, like, sorry for myself or something, like okay, let's get out of that headspace. But the, I think the right, the right way of viewing it is that, look at the impact you're having with this sort of small group, and imagine if we just got a little bit more, right, a little bit more invitations to the party to dance with us, how much more exponentially actually kind of impact we could have. So it's amazing. And I wanted to name that specifically because, you know, whoever's engaging with this conversation, they might think, oh, we don't have the whole staff involved yet, you know, or maybe it's just me in the building, considers himself herself a ruckus maker.

45:37
Speaker 3
Maybe it's just me in the building that is all in on conscious discipline, but it starts there and you build, you know, from it. And you could still truly have a remarkable impact on a campus, in a system, in a classroom. It doesn't matter. So, Jill, Sarah, where I like to end every conversation is just basically, hey, we covered a lot of ground today, and so of everything we discussed. This is going to be hard. But what's the one thing, right? Not 2, 3, 5, but what's the one thing you want a ruckus maker to remember?

46:09
Speaker 2
I would say that it starts with you remembering that conscious discipline is adult first. That it starts with you doing the internal work and understanding yourself in order to do things with children just a little bit differently.

46:23
Speaker 1
And I would say the same. So I'm going to just add, and be gentle with yourself. If you were unkind or had short patience with an adult or a child. We all do. I do. Sarah does. Like, this isn't about perfection. This is just about how do I come back when it's been hard? Like, how do I come back when I've gotten really frustrated and I didn't know what to do? So I would just say, be kind in your own head and be gentle to yourself.

46:54
Speaker 3
Brilliant. And I'll end with this. Normally, I don't add anything else to what the guests say, but since I'm a part of the event, I want to say one thing too. So, you know, I like to say that ruckus makers are on a journey of what I call self mentorship. That's a radical ownership of their own growth and development. So again, ElevateTeacherConference.com like, sign yourself up, right? Take control. Don't wait for permission. The district or whoever you think needs to say yes for you to participate. If you're resonating with the message, we'll see you there. Right? We'll see you there. And that's it for today's show.

47:29
Speaker 2
Thanks so much.

47:33
Speaker 3
Hey, Ruckus Maker, thanks again for pressing play. I hope you enjoyed this show as much as I enjoyed recording it. And before you go, if today's episode shifted something for you where you want to do school different or you have a new idea about education, then I want to invite you to subscribe to ruckusmakers News. That's our newsletter, and you get three new opportunities to do school different every week sent to your inbox. It's trusted by over 5,000 school leaders. And if you want to reimagine education within a traditional setting so that you could create a campus experience worth showing up for, subscribe for [email protected] news.